So I’m writing out a sex scene and really trying to push my boundaries. In the world of erotic romance I know that I’m a bit vanilla. I personally like to think that I’m french vanilla, that little extra bit of umph to make it not so bland. I talk about sex freely and I read sex in fiction but when I have to sit down and write it I freeze up. I think it’s because I get all intellectual about it and want to make sure that I’m representing the female sexual experience properly. Or I start to obsess about whether a guy would have an internal monologue quite like that. Complete waste of time and energy but I got the obsessive gene like the over eater gene so I’ve come to live with it.

Well in a new story that I wrote (more information to come later…see I have no problem being a tease) I decided I was going to go BIG. Which I would like to point out is probably still french vanilla but a girl has to start some where.

Here’s the set up
Main chica is so sexually frustrated that main dude won’t give it to her that she masturbates in the shower thinking of him.

Like I said I’m not blazing any erotic literary trails but this is out there for me because I just went with. Now I’ve gotten it all typed out and I’m starting to obsess about whether it feels authentic and will readers relate to the masturbation and what temperature should the water be and oh what about her hair and do I need to describe the shower gel and can’t you get a yeast infection if you masturbate with shower gel…

Just when I was going to spiral into the black hole of “thinking too much” I see Sig Other siting in the hallway outside our office putting a new shower caddy together.

Digression: he was out there because I’d started the process of assembly but the GENIUS manufacturers decided to label parts on the INSTRUCTIONS but not the damn PARTS. Needless to say the whole thing got abandoned before I chucked it out the window.

Anywhoo, I start to think “Ummm, I need an opinion and he’s there.” Now those of you that know me personally and know Sig Other you are probably laughing hysterically because Sig Other does not discuss sex conversationally. Particularly the hot sweaty steamy sort of sex I’m aspiring to write. But he was there and I needed an ear. So I read the meaty part of the scene (okay maybe a little pun intended) and ask him what he thinks. He pauses, he’s big on pauses, asks me to read it again, pauses, and than says “I think you should say engorged clit instead of erect clit.” It’s what I wanted but damn was it funny.

I can’t wait to see what he says if I ever get up enough courage to write a threesome;)